Harry Potter Meets Potter Puppet Pals
by WordsOfASong
Summary: Harry Potter and his friends find the Potter Puppet Pals. They spend some time enjoying the wonders of muggles discovering them, until Hermione realizes it's a threat to the exposure of the wizarding world. Her choices can affect their future. Now what?
1. Findings

**Disclaimer: Do I look like Joanne Kathleen Rowling? NO. Do I own her material? NO. And Potter Puppet Pals belongs to the one and only Neil Cicierega… not me!**

**A/N: I really hope you love this story:]. The idea just kind of slapped me in the face and I was like "OH! That would be cool!" **

**I took the time to type out the entire Potter Puppet Pals: Wizard Swears script, so I would hope you could take the 30 seconds to review my story:].**

xxXxx

"Now, boy," hissed Mr. Dursley, "you touch, ruin, steal, scratch, or deface any object in this house and you'll be in the cupboard for a week with no meals!" He stroked his dark mustache and turned back to the car. "Come on, Dudley, get in the car. Oh, stop your whining… the amusement park isn't that long of a car ride."

Harry stared after the car that left the Dursley's perfectly paved driveway. They had actually left him alone in their pristine, precious home. Though they had gone to the amusement park without him, he didn't really mind. Being unaccompanied by the Dursleys, he could do whatever he wanted. Well, except 'touch, ruin, scratch, or deface any object in the house'. He should be lucky that Mrs. Figg was in the hospital with two broken arms again. Even if the Dursleys had given him Dudley's second room, with much complaint from the pig-tailed boy himself, they didn't have to let him keep it. Harry definitely did not have an eye for the tiny, dust infested cupboard.

Harry turned when the car disappeared around the corner of Privet Drive. He smiled as he walked into the house. It was so silent; you could hear a pin drop. There was no scoff coming from a Mr. Dursley as he read the morning paper. You couldn't hear a whine or cry coming from a Dudley. And it wasn't even possible to hear a Mrs. Dursley click her skinny little tongue at her favorite soap opera.

Harry flopped onto the couch face down and sighed into a pillow. Things hadn't been this great since two months ago at Hogwarts. He jolted up on the couch, realizing that there was much more that he could do while the Dursleys were out than just lie on the couch all day. He turned on the television and flipped through channels like lightning. There wasn't anything interesting on so he marched up to Dudley's room, high and proud.

He opened the door to a room so full of toys, gadgets, and games, that it took him several minutes to find the bed. The windup action figures and jack-in-the-boxes had never really appealed to him. He glanced at the pile of endless video games that were sprawled carelessly along the floor. He'd have been lying if he said Dudley deserved any of his trinkets. There was a mountain of broken parts on the ground. Harry looked closer, seeing melted arms of action figures and the soft heads of the neighbor's cloth doll collection. He kicked the mess aside.

"OUCH!" Harry bent down, clutching his foot, to examine what he stubbed his toe on.

He rummaged through the heap, scared he'd find something like a dead toe from the dog Dudley had once when he was four. He saw a gleam of clean silver and jumped. Well, it wasn't that surprising. What else was Dudley going to use to chop the heads off of Gloria's dolls? Harry glided his hand slowly over the silver. It didn't feel much like the blade of a knife. He pulled the object carefully out of its place in the pile.

**Cliffhanger! I really really really hope you review:]. Come on, it's not that hard!**

**There will be a total of 3 or 4 chapters, I think. Updates coming soon; add this story to your alerts!**

**xxLLLP**


	2. Wizard Swears

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not a thing, zilch. **

**A/N: I shall hold you no longer:]. Sorry this chapter's a little short…**

It was Dudley's old laptop. Harry opened the cover gently and pressed the 'ON' button, afraid that the mistreated piece of technology would shatter in his hands. However, the laptop looked as though it had never been used. There were many things that Dudley would reject. An outdated action figure was among them, but Harry would have never thought the sour prune would snub a laptop! Well, maybe Dudley _would _trash the computer if it wasn't 'fast enough'. The old computer finished booting up and revealed a desktop of girls in skimpy bikinis. Harry rolled his eyes and noticed that the only icon on the screen was for the internet. He looked through the programs; Dudley hadn't even installed _one _computer game! He clicked the link for the internet and looked through Dudley's history. Only one website appeared on the screen. .

_What the bloody hell is Youtube?_ Harry asked himself.

He clicked the link and it led him to a site for videos. Nothing really showed to be that interesting, so he typed his name in the search bar.

_Harry Potter_

Videos of Prince Harry of Wales flashed across the white background. There were many other Harry's and many Potter's but not a single 'Harry Potter'.

_Oh well…_ Harry thought. _It's really not that big of a deal._

He continued to scroll down the list until he saw five words in blue.

_Potter Puppet Pals: Wizard Swears_

Harry clicked the link and began to watch the video. How was there someone in the muggle world who knew who he was? AND they knew he was a wizard! Boy, he _was_ going to get in trouble when the ministry found out.

**Review for more ;]. **


	3. You've Got to See This!

**Disclaimer: Again, I. OWN. NOTHING.**

**A/N: Enjoy! This will be the last chapter. But, hopefully, it's enough to satisfy! Pretty long…**

xxXxx

September 1st, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

The Welcoming Feast went as it usually did. The nervous, new first years were sorted into their house and Dumbledore made a small speech, introducing them to the food which happily popped onto their plates. Ron stuffed his face as Hermione glared across from him and interrogated Harry who sat directly next to her.

"So, Harry! How was your summer? Dursley's been alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's pretty much the same as it's always been," Harry sighed, not mentioning Potter Puppet Pals, which he admits, was pretty enjoyable.

She proceeded to ask Ron how his summer was and her glare faded into a gentle smile.

Dumbledore advanced to the old, wooden podium once again. The food vanished from everyone's plates, leaving a very disappointed Ronald Weasley. He began his final speech speaking only of how much their education should mean to them and asking them to stay out of trouble. He ended with a simple **"**_Nitwit_! _Blubber_! _Oddment_! _Tweak_!" and bade the students good night.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were the last ones to the common room that night as they had stopped to chat with their old professor and friend, Hagrid. Hermione headed off to the girl's dormitories and just opened her mouth to say goodbye when Harry grabbed her arm.

"Come up with me and Ron, tonight. I've got something to show you both," he said calmly, earning himself a well-deserved skeptical look from Hermione. "Don't worry; we won't get in trouble."

He and Ron walked slowly up the stairs. Ron glanced back to see Hermione standing firmly where they left her. "You coming?" he asked.

"Fine!" she snapped. She walked swiftly ahead of them and led the way to their dormitory. "Now what was it you wanted to show us, Harry?" She noted that Seamus, Dean, and Neville were fast asleep and she kept her voice down.

"Look at this," Harry was kneeling beside his trunk as he pulled out a thin silver rectangle.

Ron's face showed complete confusion as he asked, "And _what _are you planning on showing us with that hunk of junk?"

"It's not just a hunk of junk, Ron. It's a laptop computer," Hermione sighed, irritated. "A portable, battery-powered microcomputer small enough to rest on the user's lap." She glanced at Ron's confused face and continued. "It's used research information, play games, and other things of the sort… Harry, what _are _you doing?"

Harry was already logged onto the Youtube site. "Hold on. I found something interesting this summer."

In the search bar, he entered five words.

_Potter Puppet Pals: Wizard Swears_

"Wait Harry, that's your last name!" Ron exclaimed, proud that he had noticed the detail as quickly as Hermione.

"That _is _your last name- but how- wizard? Muggles know who you- wizard?!" Hermione stumbled.

"Listen, Hermione. I don't know how or why these muggles know who I am, but they seem to know a lot.

"Harry, you've got to report-"

"What? HA! No way! Just watch; these guys are great!" Harry clicked the first blue box, taking him to the video.

"PG-13 for boyish attitude?" Ron laughed at the purple screen in front of them.

"That sounds a little rid-"

"Shh, Hermione!" Ron interrupted, gaining a laugh from Harry.

"Yeah, this is so realistic, Harry," Hermione rolled her eyes. "Because you know, Ron and I would definitely dance like _that _in the middle of the halls," she scoffed as the Puppet Harry on the screen began to speak.

**Harry: Guys! Professor Dumbledore posted a list of words that are banned from Hogwarts! I didn't know wizards had swears!**

**Hermione: Of course they do, Harry! They're called wizard swears.**

"Ahem, Hermione's still the know-it-a-" Ron fake coughed.

"SHH, RON!" Hermione imitated a repeated gesture of Ron's when Puppet Ron spoke up.

**Ron: Oh! Like cauldron bum!**

"Do I really sound like that?!" Ron squeaked.

**Harry: Really? That's adorable!**

**Hermione: Oh they're worse than that. Read some, Harry.**

**Harry: Let's see here. Son of a banshee, that's useful!**

**Hermione: Swish and flicker! That's my favorite.**

**Snape: Ahem. Do my ears detect foul mouthedness? **

"Is that _Snape_?" Ron's face was turning red as he held back giggles. "The bloody puppet looks exactly like him!"

**Hermione: Oh no, Professor Snape.**

**Harry: VOLDEMORT'S NIPPLE!**

Hermione snickered, gaining a strange look from Ron. "What? It _is _a little funny," she shrugged.

**Snape: Excuse me?!**

**Hermione: Harry!**

**Snape: I refuse to have this filth spewed in my presence, Mr. Potter. 500,000 points from Gryffindor!**

"500,000 points?! Who does this guy think he is?" Ron exclaimed, waking a very confused Neville.

"What? No, grandmother! I-I didn't take your red hat! No, I swear!" Neville was still recovering from a nightmare and Harry paused the video.

"Come over here and watch this, Neville!" Harry said. Hermione explained what a computer was as Harry introduced Potter Puppet Pals.

"Alright…" Neville responded.

Harry clicked play and the episode continued.

**Ron: Dragon bogies!**

**Harry: Everybody run. Expecto Patronads!**

**Snape: *sigh* Rabble Rousers.**

**Harry: Ah, that was fun… Oh. Hi Neville.**

**Neville: Hello Harry. Hermione. Ronald. What's up guys?**

"Harry? Why the bloody hell am I a potato?" asked Neville.

"You're not a potato, Neville," Harry responded with ease. "You're a butternut squash."

"But-"

"Shh, Neville! We're watching," hissed Hermione who seemed to be enjoying the video.

**Ron: We're saying magical naughty words like, jiggery pokery! **

**Neville: *gasp* My grandmother forbids me from using washy language!**

**Harry: Well, your grandmother's a blast-ended skank!**

"You really think my grandmother's a skank, Harry?"

"For the last time, Neville. I didn't make this. None of the things that these puppets say applies to our life."

**Neville: *GAAAAASP!***

**Hermione: He doesn't mean it, Neville! He's just testing out some wizard swears.**

**Harry: I mean every word I ever say, ever, because I'm Harry Potter.**

Ron, Hermione, and Harry were doubled over with laughter, clutching their chests. Neville sat, burrowing his eyebrows, trying to figure out whether or not what Puppet Harry said was a lie.

**Neville: I'm telling Professor Dumbledore.**

**Ron: You're such a broomhead!**

**Neville: This is against the rules!**

**Harry: I can't let you do this, Neville.**

**Neville: Oh, no! No, no! I don't want to swear; my grandmother doesn't want me to swear! No…**

**Harry: Are you a Gryffindor or not, Neville?**

"God, Harry! You're such a bully," Hermione joked.

**Neville: I am a Gryffindor! Bu-But…**

**Harry: Try it then. Here's the list; say anything.**

**Neville: Hagrid's bu-buttcrack.**

"What kind of swear is _that_?" exclaimed Ron.

**Ron & Hermione: Yay!**

**Harry: You sicken me!**

"I don't get this!" Neville cried. Seamus and Dean shifted in their beds.

**Neville: Bu-bu-but it's on the list!**

**Harry: Hagrid is ten times the man you'll ever be, Neville! Leave Hogwarts, Neville Longbottom. Never come back. **

"Harry, I do hope you know that students do not have the right to expel another student," Hermione pointed out.

"Sure," Harry waved her comment away.

**Ron & Hermione: Yay!**

**Hermione: You're quite the hellion today, Harry!**

**Ron: Yeah, you're rife with boyish attitude.**

**Harry: Let's do a prank call!**

.

***riiiiiiiiiiiiing***

"Is that a fellytone?" asked Ron.

"Yes, Ron. But, it's called a _telephone_," Hermione sighed.

**Voldemort: Dark Lord Voldemort speaking!**

**Harry: Leprechaun taint!**

**Voldemort: What?! You kids! If I ever find out who's calling me, I will call the wizard score and you will go to wizard jail, and I'll kill you because I'm Lord Voldemort! Stop calling-**

**Snape: There they are.**

**Dumbledore: Professor Snape would like to have a word with you, children!**

**Hermione: Oh, unicorn turds.**

**Snape: That is exactly the sort of vulgarity that I want to eradicate from the distinguished halls of Hogwarts. The traditions of the school must be upheld and respected. The founders surely would-**

**Harry: Mother f{beep) tro(beep) Snape!**

"Woah, Harry!" Ron elbowed Harry, laughing.

**Snape: What?!**

**Harry: You floppy wanded dementor buggerer!**

**Ron: Dobby's sock.**

"Who's Dobby?" asked Neville.

**Snape: Dumbledore, I urge you to expel these monsters.**

**Dumbledore: Oh, Snape. Let them have their flap doodle!**

**Snape: But you're the one who banned the words in the first place!**

**Dumbledore: I don't even remember five minutes ago! Back to your skulking.**

"WHAT is the point of posting the list? If Dumbledore didn't care if the words were banned, why do it?" Hermione jabbed her finger at Puppet Dumbledore on the small screen.

**Hermione: Thank you so much, Professor Dumbledore!**

**Dumbledore: Alas! You're welcome!**

**Harry: Dumbledore, you're obscenely old right?**

"No kidding! He's got to be at least 115," Ron snickered.

**Dumbledore: Why, yes!**

**Harry: Do you know any super ancient, last of the ages, archaic, olden time wizard swears?**

**Dumbledore: Well, there is one.**

**Ron: I want to hear it!**

**Dumbledore: The Elder Swear. You must never repeat it to anyone!**

"This is kind of predictable, Harry. I can bet you that we, in the video, are going to re-"

"Hermione, shut up!" Ron whined.

**Hermione: We won't, Professor!**

**Dumbledore: Here it is… your mother is a **_**(beep) (beep) (beep)**_** ing **_**(beep)**_** Laura Nixon **_**(beep) (beep) (beep)**_** admittem venium **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) **_**traguna **_**(beep) (beep)**__**(beep) (beep) (beep)**_** hippopotamus **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep)**_** republican **_**(beep) (beep) **_**ing Daniel Radcliffe **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) (beep)**_** with a bucket of **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) (beep)**_** in a castle far away where no one can hear you **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep)**_** soup **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) **_**with a bucket of **_**(beep) (beep)**_** Mickey Mouse**_** (beep) (beep) **_**and a stick of dynamite **_**(beep) (beep) magical (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep)**_** ALAKAZAM! **

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and even Neville's jaw hung open.

"What?" laughed Neville.

"My favorite part is the Mickey Mouse. _Damn, _that name sounds sexy!" smirked Ron.

Harry and Hermione snorted, pointing out that Mickey Mouse was, indeed, a children's television character.

"Personally, I like the 'in a castle far away where no one can here you' part!" Hermione said, still giggling.

**Ron: Wow!**

**Dumbledore: Now you know. You must never, ever repeat it… okay?**

**Harry: We promise, sir.**

"And like I said…" Hermione started.

**Harry, Ron, & Hermione: your mother is a **_**(beep) (beep) (beep)**_** ing **_**(beep)**_** Laura Nixon **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) **_**admittem venium **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) **_**traguna **_**(beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep)**_** hippopotamus **_**(beep)**_

"So what do you think?" asked Harry.

"I think it's brilliant!" laughed Ron.

"_I _think it needs to be reported to the ministry."

"Hermione, even after enjoying it, you still think it's putting the wizarding world in danger?" grinned Harry.

"Well, it kind of is-"

"Shut up, Neville," Ron cut him off.

"At least Neville agrees with me! Harry, if muggles recognize you from the puppets, then you _know _there's going to be uproar!"

"Whatever, Hermione. You and Neville go run over to the ministry and tell them about how a cute little video is risking the exposure of our world," Harry yawned as he shut the laptop off and climbed into bed.

Ron did the same, "Good _night_, Hermione," he said, signaling for her to leave.

"You know what, Harry! Maybe I will," she stomped down the stairs.

Neville got into bed last, "I still don't get why I'm a vegetable," he mumbled.


	4. Vote for your favorite UPDATE

_**Update!!**_

I've gotten a few requests to continue this story. I will most likely continue but I do not know which Potter Puppet Pals episode to use. I'm leaning towards 'Snape's Diary', but I want to know what all of you want to read. 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise' is not an episode I'd like to use because I am writing a separate fic for that one.

PLEASE SEND ME A PRIVATE MESSAGE, VOTING FOR THE EPISODE YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ ABOUT. The one with most votes will be used. Thank you!

If you've read this short little update, thank you. If not, oh well.

I haven't had the time lately to write anything, really. I hope to do more on the weekends because of schoolwork. Thank you for everything, guys and girls! I appreciate you keeping in time with this story:].

xxLLLP


	5. Results UPDATE more chaps soon!

Hey, everyone. It's me again! I know... I know... shocker. I'm so incredibly sorry that it's been so long since I last updated. I have ideas underway, so I just thought I'd let you know. But, what YOU'VE all been waiting for… the results? I think it's time I count those up. Let me get back to you.

And the winner is… SNAPE'S DIARY!

If you have any ideas, feel free to tell me so in a review or an inbox message. I read and consider everything!

I do have a winter break off of school in late December and I plan to use that time to focus on this story. If you've stuck with me the past few months, I thank you. If not, I'm sorry.

XOX,

Live Laugh Love Potter


	6. Rules and Regulations

**A/N: I'm back. I know; it's a miracle. Let me just start out now with a HUGE apology for not updating in months. I'm on summer vacation now, and I have HUGE ideas for the rest of this story. **

The next day's lessons moved especially slowly. Harry, Ron, and Neville seemed to sleep through the classes; that was confirmed with a whack of a _Daily Prophet _in the hands of Professor Severus Snape during Potions. How could they help but fall asleep? The dungeons were so dim-lit by torches nailed to the wall, and Snape's voice drawled on and on and on and on…

Stepping out of Herbology, they briskly walked to the Great Hall. Hermione was already sitting at their usual spot on the Gryffindor table with her head buried in a book and her bushy hair cascading over her shoulders. When her friends took a seat, she took no notice. Ron noted that the title of the book was _The Ministry of Magic: Rules and Regulations_ but said nothing to the others. Dinner popped onto the tables in the blink of an eye, as usual, and the three boys filled their plates at the speed of light. They gobbled food down their throats for the sake of eating, and didn't notice that Hermione hadn't touched anything. Her head remained stuck in that book as the boys rushed through pork and potatoes. As soon as the last chicken leg on Ron's plate was swallowed, they jetted upstairs to the Gryffindor Common Room. Meanwhile, Hermione read on in the rulebook, her eyes speeding through lines of laws and punishments.

"Caput Draconis."

"In a rush, my dears?" said the Fat Lady mistily.

"Caput Draconis," Ron cried again, his anxiety building.

"Good God… boys and their tempers these days." Without complaint, the Fat Lady swung open her entrance to the common room and allowed Harry, Ron, and Neville to pass.

They rushed up the tightly wound spiral staircase to their dormitory to find Seamus and Dean on a bed playing cards. Harry and Ron exchanged a doubtful look, knowing they could not reveal the Potter Puppet Pals to anyone else. Four people with Hermione were bad enough; getting six was just asking for trouble.

The three of them slumped down the stairs to a busily moving common room and sighed. Ron took his normal chair by the fireplace, Harry on his couch, and Neville on wherever there was room. Together, they watched people mindlessly pacing, mingling with friends, and yawning before deciding to go to bed. The wait consisted of at least two hours and subconsciously finishing homework before the common room completely emptied out. Knowingly, Harry pulled out the silver laptop computer and gently lifted the cover.

**That's it for this chapter. I know it's very short and not very exciting, but that part comes next ;). **

**Love, LiveLaughLovePotter**


	7. Snape's Diary

Harry waited for the computer to boot up and moved the mouse to the Internet icon. In the address bar, he typed ".com". Ron and Neville hovered over his shoulders as he used the search bar to find Neil Cicierega. He found the channel and looked for the Potter Puppet Pals playlist. Scrolling through the videos, he found "Snape's Diary" and nodded at Neville and Ron. His fingers rolled over the mouse pad on the computer and tapped once over the video.

**Harry: Oh my god, look what I found!**

**Ron: Is that a book?**

**Hermione: I know a thing or two about books, and that's a book!**

"Good ol' Hermione," Ron smiled. "Is she in the library still?"

**Harry: It's not just any book, guys.**

**Ron: Is it a young adult vampire romance novel?**

***TEN SECONDS LATER***

***Ron standing in corner***

"I don't get it…" Neville scratched his head and mussed his hair.

"Why am I standing in the corner?"

**Harry: Anyway, I just happened to find this book in Snape's bedroom in a locked trunk under his bed. It's his diary!**

"Do you think Snape really keeps his diary there?" Neville piped up.

"Dunno. We'll check tomorrow night." Harry smiled.

**Ron: (Speaking from corner) Woah! Shall we read it?**

**Harry: I've got a better idea. Let's read it!**

**Hermione: Oh what a fascinating character study this will be!**

**Harry: Okay this is the first entry. *Ron stands over shoulder* Dear Diary…**

***Image of Snape by candlelight writing in diary with green feather quill***

**Voice of Snape: Today, I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother; I cried.**

"What?" Harry said. This diary entry was worse than Dudley's first and last in the new book that mummy had bought him two summers ago.

**Ron: I'm hungry!**

**Harry: What else is new, fatty? Let's get to the good stuff.**

"You don't think I'm a fatty? Do you, Harry? I mean, I know I eat a lot… but I don't think-"

"Shh!" Harry cut him off without an answer.

**Voice of Snape: Today I put on my raincoat and went over to Knockturn Alley. I purchased a pair of fancy mice. When I brought them home, one devoured the other and then died of loneliness. I felt envy. **

**Harry: This is hilarious!**

**Hermione: Oh look Harry! I see your name.**

**Ron: Oo, you're good at reading Hermione-**

**Harry: What?**

Neville laughed aloud before Harry reminded him that it was midnight and Gryffindor students were sleeping.

**Voice of Snape: Today, that Potter boy showed me his middle finger. When I attempted to punish him with detention, he shoved me into a wall, screaming, "Bother! Bother!" over and over. Later, him and his orange friend repeated the violent act until I lost consciousness. Tonight, I prayed for the first time in twenty years. I prayed for the end.**

"Aw shucks, I didn't think we were that bad," Harry winked at Ron.

**Harry: I remember that, Ron. Give me five! *Holds up hand***

**Ron: You already took my money, Harry.**

"Yeah, all two galleons," Ron grumbled under his breath.

**Harry: Never mind.**

**Voice of Snape: I lost a button on my cloak today. Minerva pointed it out in front of the entire faculty. Oh, cruel attention. Button, oh button, oh where hath thou fled? Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread? Did thee roll off my bosom and cease to exist? How I wish I could follow thee into the mist. **

"Aw…" Ron whimpered.

"What's a bosom?" Neville asked.

**Ron: What is a bosom, Harry?**

**Harry: Um…**

**Hermione: Yeah, tell him, Harry!**

**Harry: Oh look, another page!**

**Voice of Snape: Today, while in the bathtub-**

**Harry&Ron&Hermione: EW!**

**Voice of Snape: I feel asleep and had a nightmare. I was riding a thestral through a thunderstorm. Every thunder clap resolved into their voice of "Bother.. Bother.." Suddenly, it became music. I was at the Yule Ball with Lily Evans. I asked her to dance. She asked me to die. Would that I could, Lily. Would that I could…**

"He asked _my_ mum to the Yule Ball?"

**Harry: My mum was awesome!**

**Voice of Snape: When I awoke, my skin was prune-like from the tepid bathwater. And I was late for golf with Lucius Malfoy.**

**Ron: Mmm, I like prunes!**

"Prunes?" Ron questioned.

**Dumbledore: *Pops up: Naked* Did somebody say prunes?**

"GAH!" the three boys ducked for cover under the pillows near Harry's couch.

**Ron: I said Prunes! *To Hermione* - How did he know?**

**Dumbledore: What are you monkeys up to? Studying for class?**

**Harry: No, we're invading Professor Snape's personal privacy by reading his diary which we stole from his room.**

**Dumbledore: But you don't have any prunes? Do ya? **

**Harry: I'm afraid not.**

**Dumbledore: I'm very disappointed in you, Harry. *Walks off stage***

**Harry: Ok, back to the stinky book!**

**Voice of Snape: Today, the orange one accidentally drained one of my more expensive elixirs. He promptly vomited a glittering rainbow of foul waste. The classroom erupted with applause, triggering my migraine. I aborted the class and was left to clean the boy's sick. Halfway through, Argus Filch appeared and bragged about his many affairs with Hogsmeade bar maids. Then he told me I smelled like broccoli and left without wishing me a happy birthday. I thought of my father; I cried.**

Harry, Ron, and Neville were so immersed in the video and did not take notice of Hermione who had entered with a bigger stack of books as well as a long scroll of parchment and new quill. She took a seat on the opposite side of the common room where she immediately started scribbling words onto the parchment.

**Harry: This got boring! Let's write a new entry. **

**Ron: That's a really fun idea.**

**Hermione: Here's one of the quills I carry with me at all times.**

**Harry: Okay. *Writes in diary* I am Snape. I'm so sad because I poop my pants all the time. I don't have any friends because I stink like broccoli and poop. I teach potions to Harry Potter, and it's really boring me because he's so cool and it makes me have depression. Okay, I think I'll go cry now... but not before I poop my pants. Bye.**

"Ew," Neville couldn't have said it better.

**Ron: *Giggles* Can I try?**

**Harry: Be my guest! *Gives Ron the quill***

**Ron: *Spells out* I… M… S…**

**Hermione: Okay, Ron. That was a good try.**

"Hey!" Ron cried out, insulted. Hermione glared from across the common room.

**Snape: *Enters grumbling* Somebody knocked me unconscious and ransacked my room. Wait a minute, that book! What are you doing?**

**Harry: Snape! Ron stole your diary!**

**Snape: What? You didn't read it, did you?**

**Harry: Oh, he read it alright. He read it all.**

"Way to betray our friendship, Harry."

**Snape: This is unacceptable.**

**Ron: I loved the story about the buttons, Snape. **

"Suck up," Harry whispered.

**Snape: You… You did?**

**Ron: It made me sad… thinking about that little button… lost and alone. I hope you find your button, Snape.**

**Snape: *tear in eye* So do I, orange one, So. Do. I.**

**Ron: I like buttons!**

"I'm not in this one," Neville frowned.

They walked off towards their dormitory after Harry packed up the computer.

"Oh hey, Hermione!" Ron greeted.

She paid no attention to the boys walking past her and wrote faster. Once the boys disappeared up the staircase, she finished her letter and read it over before running up the Owlery.

**A/N: Thanks again, everyone. You can't understand how grateful I am that you all read and review. I read all reviews and take them into consideration. And yes, I type up the words to each PPP script. It's not too bad… just a lot of pause, type, play, pause, type, etc. Thanks! I hope this chapter's thrilled you ;). I think there will be about 2 more.**


	8. Getting the Letter

Hermione spent a majority of the night awake while drumming her fingers on the center table in the Gryffindor Common Room. She had trudged back to the common room after sending her letter to the Ministry. Unable to fall asleep, random thoughts had swum into her head. Why would the Ministry listen to a 15 year old girl? Would they mock her, or worse… not believe her? Hermione didn't even know how she would deal with her friends once they discovered what she'd done. Maybe she should have considered that before she ran up to the Owlery last night… After several hours, it may have been around 4am, she fell asleep at the table. She was awoken by a few excited first years stumbling down the stairs for breakfast, but soon fell back asleep. Remembering that the Ministry could have received her letter, she jolted awake and over to the Great Hall for breakfast as well. She made mindless conversation with Lavender and Parvati about the latest love potion and nodded every few seconds to seem as though she was just as immersed as they were. Ron, Harry, and Neville nudged each other as they entered the Great Hall. They must have been talking about the last Potter Puppet Pals episode they'd watched since their whispers were too silent to be heard by anyone in the vicinity.

Hermione sighed unhappily when the mail arrived and not a single owl landed in front of her. It wasn't as though she expected a letter from the Ministry within a day; they did have a lot of complainers and whiners that had to be dealt with. She dragged herself to her first lesson of Transfiguration, regretting the 3 hours of sleep she'd gotten. Perhaps she should've at least tried to fall asleep earlier. Her mind wandered as Professor Mcgonagall went on about animagus rules and regulations. She was grateful for the bell and trudged down to the dungeons for her potion's lesson with Ron, Harry, and Neville. If they noticed she wasn't paying attention in class for once, they didn't let on. Her eyes began to close as Snape droned on about bezoars. Suddenly, the minister's tired voice carried over the castle.

"Will Harry Potter, Ronald Weasely, Neville Longbottom, and Hermione Granger please report to the Entrance Hall at once?"  
The boys shot Hermione a skeptical glare and stood up as Hermione gaped in horror.

"Go on; get up. You've disrupted my class as it is. Leave," Professor Snape drawled.

Hermione stood with her knees shaking and followed Ron, Harry, and Neville out the door. They did not say a word to her until they had reached the top of the staircase.

"What did you do, Hermione?" Ron snarled. "See… you've turned something harmless into such a big deal." He obviously realized Hermione had gone to the Ministry about the Puppet Pals.

Harry didn't look at Hermione and stared straight ahead as they walked into the Entrance Hall.

"I don't see the big deal. The Ministry will just take the videos off Youtube and use a little memory charm to erase all evidence of the puppets." Neville mumbled.

"But you see, Neville. That's the big deal. First of all, we're going to get in huge trouble for even watching the videos. Second of all, you can't erase the memory of 3,866,051 viewers." Harry snapped.

The four friends walked towards the front of the Hall where Cornelius Fudge stood with his cabinet of ministry of workers.

"Harry Potter… you have disrupted the wizarding world in too many ways to mention this year. But this has gone too far-" the minister said.

"Wait a minute, Mr. Fudge. I'm the one who sent the letter."

Cornelius ignored Hermione's brisk comment, "Harry, where did you find these… Puppets? How many people know about them?"

Harry forcefully explained about the laptop and Youtube… how he searched his name and what came up under the results. He stated to the minister that the Potter Puppet Pals were all good fun and there was no harm to come from it. He didn't mention that there were almost four million muggles viewing these videos.

"It's Dumbledore, isn't it? He's the root of all this evil. He must have told you about these puppets from hell sent to destroy wizardkind!" Cornelius and his insanity stormed to Dumbledore's office after screaming the password of "lemon drops" to the gargoyles.

Harry, Ron, Neville, and Hermione rushed behind Cornelius shouting that he'd gone mad and Dumbledore had nothing to do with the Puppets. It wasn't his fault, and he had enough to worry about other than an internet sensation.

Cornelius swung open the door to Dumbledore's office and the sounds of the Potter Puppet Pals theme song filled the air around them.

**Sort of a cliffhanger here… I hope you liked this chapter:) I'm working on the last chapter now, and I already know how it ends! Please read & review!**


	9. Dumbledore

A small stage was set up in the middle of Dumbledore's office. The red curtains were open with puppets of Ron, Hermione, and Harry peeping through.

"Dumbledore! What is this nonsense?" Fudge was furious and had no problem showing it. His face was bright red with boiling anger.

Dumbledore stashed the puppets away in a trunk and in a serene voice, told Cornelius to please leave.

"Why should I leave? You're behind the Puppet Potter Pals?"

"Actually, Minister Fudge. They're the Potter Puppet Pals. And yes, I am most certainly in charge of this internet sensation. Do you know I have almost 4 million viewers of the muggle world?"

"Fo-Fo-Four million?" Fudge's ministry workers stood close behind as if he would fall back and faint.

"Yes, and I can say that I'm quite proud of our work."

"OUR?"

"That would be my brother Aberforth, Madame Rosmerta, Severus Snape, and myself of course. I'd say we make a nice team."

"Dumbledore, you cannot continue with this! It's a threat to exposing our world! Soon, there'll be muggles standing at my doorstep… taking charge!"

"Cornelius, Cornelius, you have always taken things much too seriously. Please follow me." Dumbledore led the minister behind his desk where he pulled out a laptop identical to Harry's and opened the video page for "The Mysterious Ticking Noise".

"Look under the comments, minister." The comments were written by muggles saying things such as 'I wish this was real!' and 'This is so hilarious:)"

"See? These muggles are clueless to reality and are here simply to enjoy a fantasy. Now… if you don't mind, I'm in the middle of filming 'Ron's Disease'."

Dumbledore led the people out of his office as Ron continually asked what the new video was about. Dumbledore merely winked and said "You'll see!"

"Hermione, we told you it was no big deal," sighed Harry.

"I guess the way Dumbledore shows it… the muggles really are clueless."

"So do you want to watch 'The Vortex' with us or not?" said Ron.

"Don't mind if I do," Hermione smiled.

**That's it! Harry Potter Meets Potter Puppet Pals is done. I hope you all enjoyed the chapters and will review to give me advice for future stories. Thanks so much! **

**Lots of L-O-V-E,**

**Live Laugh Love Potter**

**AGAIN: ALL CREDIT FOR POTTER PUPPET PALS GOES TO NEIL CICIEREGA! ALL CREDIT FOR HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS GOES TO J.K. ROWLING!**


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